July 2010
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WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Netflix is streaming the first season of Law and Order : SVUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!!!? WHATTTTTTT? I NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE MY BED AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIX!
This discovery turns me into a really lazy version of RAAAAAAAANDY.
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Vulture: Britney-Themed Glee Episode Is In The... →
At first I was excited because I thought they meant a whole episode centered around Heather Morris’s character Brittany and my brain actually said, “OMG, SO ON BOARD!!,” but then (and how did I not notice the spelling discrepancy because obviously) I discovered they meant the illustrious Ms. Spears and my brain was like, “DAMN GURL I AM STILL SO ON BOARD.” Who will...
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“I thank God today that that man never made a pass at me. He was a good-looking...”
– Cynthia Banks, neighbor of the “Grim Sleeper” killer. She continued, “Let me tell you, DAYUM. The things I would have done to that man… Mmmm-mmmm!” There but for the grace of huh?! Is that really what you want to say to CNN, lady?
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To Do: Get Protective Goggles
I am trying to make a list of all of the VERY IMPORTANT stuff I have to do tomorrow when I behave like a person (tax forms, haircut, buy stamps, other stuff who knows I still haven’t made the list) so I opened up my “stickies” to actually compose said list somewhere other than in my head, and I found the following all-lowercase thought. I must have had this thought recently about...
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Day One of Two of Fake Unemployment
So far I have:
Broken a plate in the kitchen while trying to make English muffins
Leaked goo from the inside of a Lisa Frank ice pack all over my bed
Spilled a can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles all inside my still-packed suitcase
I need to go back to work.
The Apiary: Inside With: Dan Milano, Sean Baker,... →
A third interview by MEEEEEEEEEEEE. So please read it because I would do the same for you nice internet people. The word I came up with but did not use for Warren the Ape is “Celebreaparody.” I know, it is such a good one.
I had margaritas and coconut cake and a lower alcohol tolerance than I remembered for lunch. Happy last day, me!
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“Fast Car,” Tracy Chapman
So I...
“Barbra Walters once said, “I can’t see him liking you!”
– Joan Rivers as herself on her husband, Edgar, in Tears and Laughter: The Joan and Melissa Rivers Story
OPI for Sephora's Winter Line
Guys, I am a nail polish name machine. I don’t want to brag, but we could be set through 2012, when cities fall into the Fiery Orange Ocean and we’re all washed away by a tidal wave in Doomsday Blue (both Spring 2012 collection). Here are my proposals for the winter 2010 line:
Whoopsie! Head On Collision (Silver)
Blue-limia (Blue with flecks of Green)
M.R.S. Degree (Navy)
Wanna...
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