January 2012
58 posts
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How I Feel About Things I Laugh At On The Internet
Meredith: Did you read (blank article) on (blank website)?
Dianne: I skimmed just the preview bit, is the whole thing good?
Meredith: One of them cracked me up, but I don't even know if I can vouch for it being funny to you. It felt very had-to-be-there, even though I wasn't.
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Ways to Spell "Good," According to My GChats
food
ugh, goos*
ughhh, sorry, i meant god*
OMG WTF, me???
FOOD*
whatever, same thing.
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1.5 Seconds
Is how long I paused when considering if I should NOT Google the lyrics to 2 Live Crew’s “Face Down, Ass Up” from my work computer.
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ALL YOUR WISHES ARE COMING TRUE →
askanevilgenie:
Were all of your wishes that Ask an Evil Genie would come back, be better than ever, and appear on Slacktory?
Well, I guess I can’t be sure, because you didn’t send me your wishes. So send me your wishes and they will be horribly, irrevocably, life-ruiningly granted by an Evil Genie!
I am shamelessly re-reblogging this (from myself).
WISH! WISH! WISH! WISH! MAKE A WISH! WISH...
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And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is — I want a partner....
– Tucker Max. ))<>((.
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Is (are?) Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots a board game? What about Hungry, Hungry Hippos? How vertical can a board game be?
ALL YOUR WISHES ARE COMING TRUE →
askanevilgenie:
Were all of your wishes that Ask an Evil Genie would come back, be better than ever, and appear on Slacktory?
Well, I guess I can’t be sure, because you didn’t send me your wishes. So send me your wishes and they will be horribly, irrevocably, life-ruiningly granted by an Evil Genie!
It’s funny because no wishes today because SOPA.
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Office Politics
There are a lot of people at my work about whom I wonder, “Do I have to end this email ‘Please let me know if there is someone else that I should contact for assistance.’ Or, can I write ‘I had two champagnes at the champagne toast plz helppppp me!!!! You get it, you were there, I saw you! This is confusing bye!’?”
How I Write
Professionally:
1. Put the thoughts in my head on paper.
2. Go back and take out half of the non-simile, non-approving “likes”
3. Take out the rest of the non-simile, non-approving “likes”
Personally:
1. Put like, the thoughts in my head on like, paper.
2. Go back and take out like, half of the non-simile, non-approving “likes”
3. Go back and like, add...
Sometimes on Friday mornings I make up rules for myself like, “If I don’t dress casually today, then I can be ten minutes late.”
But we don’t even have Casual Fridays, so this is double made up.
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Things That Best Friends Are Like, According to...
Peanut butter and jelly (and jelly) (and jelly)
Two halves of an Oreo
Two halves of a heart
Two halves of an Oreo with a heart cut out
Peas, in pods
Jacob and Edward
A skull and a brain
Puzzle pieces
Identical whales
Big-eyed ladies in 70’s apparel
The front and butt of a boar
Macaroni and cheese
Pancakes and waffles and toast (A three person best friendship is very...
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Our office was out of skim milk today and now I have had half and half in my children’s size large caramel coffee with three Splendas (TM) and I can never go baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
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Professionalism is
Finding the documents you forgot to mail yesterday afternoon hidden under the envelope you forgot to mail them in.
Drinking your caramel coffee through the stirrer.
Trying to use your house keys as your ID card to enter the building.
Having a “daily moral inventory” checklist, reminding you to watch out for anger and strive for self-control, as your desktop background.
Trying to...
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youveescaped replied to your photo: Whenever people ask me about this one friend of…
oh my god, what is this from.
This amazing nightmare.
Your Daily Dose of Joy: This Week in News From The... →
joyengel:
Meredith: The witches are seemingly silent of late. Nothing eerie has been happening at all.
Joy: I feel as though I’m not really connected to the witches lately. Like, they aren’t speaking to me or are being silent or something. And so I’m looking for signs that they still care. So if I…
This invocation has been scheduled for Wednesday, January 11th at 7pm EST. C U there...
broodingsoul asked: Can you please weigh in on Babeyonce's birth?
Tonight I watched a girl on the 1 train methodically and openly peel the price tag off a box of Next Choice emergency contraceptive. It must have been a gift.
Already a celebrity in the entertainment arena, Mr. Damon became one in the...
– This sentence is a sentence from the NEW YORK TIMES.